Is it ok to hope?

I haven’t updated you much since I’ve been back from the DR, mainly because I’m pressed for time as I’m trying to reconnect with lots of people while I’m briefly back in the States. However, I’ve received multiple requests to blog about this, so here it goes:

I, like many other young adults, have reached the stage in life where it seems like all of my friends are either engaged, married, or talking about getting married. And I, like many other single women, am left asking myself, “When will it be my turn?”

Now before any of you start thinking that I am just another one of those fantasy chasing, needs-a-man-to-complete-me, constantly daydreams about her wedding kind of girl, let me say this: I have found the last few years of my life to be an adventure in which God has drawn me more in love and satisfied with Him than ever. I’ve gotten to live in another culture, come alive through significant conversations with others, and gained confidence through the experiences God has enabled me to walk through. I would continue to live this way in my singleness for the rest of my life if that’s what He’d call me to do.  But that’s not what this post is about.

This post is about my journey of seeking an answer to why I have this desire—at times an aching longing—for a life long companion.

Have you ever hinted to your parents that you want a certain gift for Christmas and desperately hope they actually get it for you? You know, with the same kind of desperation Ralphie had for the Red Rider BB gun? You get excited just thinking about how you’ll use the gift, but are conflicted about the possibility of that sinking feeling you could have if you don’t find it under the tree. You begin to wonder if it’s even worth your hope for fear of how you’ll feel if you don’t get it. This is the question I’ve been asking God for a while now: “Is it ok for me to hope for a future spouse?” (What I’m secretly asking him is really something more like, “Can you just tell me if I’m going to be single for the rest of my life so I can stop getting my hopes up whenever I meet someone who fits the bill?”)

As I asked God this question for the umpteenth time, I started to hear an answer, though not to the question I was asking. He reminded me of Genesis 1:27,

So God created mankind in his own image,
   in the image of God he created them;
   male and female he created them.

He continued to remind me of something I had read about–how the feminine heart reflects His own character. I began making a list of core desires I have as a woman and considering how these might reflect God’s longings as well. It didn’t take long for me to figure out my top three priorities as it relates to my romantic petitions:

1) to be understood and known,

2) to be pursued,

3) for someone to be committed to me.

I was taken aback when I began making connections to what Scripture tells us is true about God’s heart:

Wasn’t it God who said, “I will give them a heart to know me” in Jeremiah 24:7? And wasn’t it Jesus himself who prayed “that they may know you, the only true God” in John 17:3? God also wants to be known intimately.

And isn’t it interesting the exact phrase “seek the Lord” is mentioned over 25 times in the Bible? It is so important to Him to be pursued that before Jesus’ sacrifice paid the price for people’s sins, the Old Testament tells us that “all who would not seek the LORD, the God of Israel, were to be put to death (2 Chronicles 15:13).”

And try to tell me God doesn’t desire commitment after reading about the Parable of the Rich Man (Luke 18). This guy obeyed all the law and did everything required to follow the Lord, yet God asked him to give that which he still clung to, his wealth, as a demonstration of his devotion.

I was moved by what the Lord shared with me that night, and felt compassion for how His heart must ache, too, when His children say they love Him and go to church every Sunday, but don’t know how to show that love in the midst of their daily lives. If I may, it’s kind of like the guy who tells you it was love at first sight and professes to adore you when he doesn’t even know what your values are, what you’re talented at, or your favorite flavor of ice cream. Empty words don’t build relationship or fill the need to be known.

All of a sudden I could understand the way God must feel when people give up on trying to grow in their walks with Him as I contemplated my own frustration with circumstances where it appears someone is drawn to you, but nothing ever comes of it. If I want someone who’ll chase after what they like in me, I’m certain God wants it too.

And finally, I see more clearly than ever why God desires us to be lifelong followers committed to growing with Him as I think about the satisfying fulfillment of growing with your spouse until you both turn gray and have wrinkles from a lifetime of laughter.

God didn’t answer if it was ok to hope for a spouse (or tell me if I am going to be single for the rest of my life), but He did show me He was true to His promise that “If you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you seek with all your heart and with all your soul (Deuteronomy 4:29).” I know Him better now. And somehow Psalm 34:10 restores my hope:

The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

Vida Estudiantil in other campuses

Haven’t had much time to blog as our team is preparing to leave the country and return to the States (also my power has been out since Thursday and just came back last night!) Had to share with you though about my experience at UNPHU (Universidad Pedro Eriquez Ureña). Since Jimmy and I will be returning to the DR for another year in August, we thought it would be cool to visit the campus for the weekly meeting today to check it out before we left the country.

This year, a second year medicine student, Albelina launched a Vida Estudiantil movement on this campus with the help of Leyla. I had the opportunity to get to know her at the student retreat earlier this month. She has such a huge heart for demonstrating God’s love to others on her campus by telling them about Christ. I really admire her for taking a HUGE step of faith by starting this movement. Even though it felt awkward for her to invite her peers and students she didn’t even know to participate in a weekly Bible study that had yet to see it’s first week, she faithfully did so and now has about fifteen people coming regularly.

Although we didn’t know we were expected to lead this week’s meeting until we got there, Jimmy and I were blessed to get the chance to share with the students how we felt God calling us to serve in the Dominican Republic and why campus ministry is so important. They shared with us some concerns they have for students on their campus and how God is already moving at UNPHU. In this meeting of fifteen students—one boy—we caught a glimpse of what the needs of the ministry are and how we can celebrate what God is already doing there.

We heard some students share how God had been faithful to help them in their weaknesses, whether it was a tough class (organic chemistry, you know that one is hard!) or kicking a bad habit to the curb. I was really inspired by the strength of their testimonies. Someone even shared about how God brought her back to him after she had drifted away for a while. It was clear today that many of these students have had faith defining experiences with God and truly adored him for the changes he has made in their lives.

We learned that it’s been difficult to gather men to join the ministry. That while students are growing in their relationship with Christ and desire to share him with their peers, they have not been equipped with resources or training on how to do so in a natural and effective way.

Please pray for this budding ministry at UNPHU. Pray that Leyla as our national director is given divine wisdom to help guide Albelina and the ministry there. Pray for Albelina, that in the midst of the challenge that is leading a new group, she is renewed daily by God and given fresh compassion for those under her care often. Pray for the students who are currently invloved, that they continue to be open with one another and praying for each other and bring light to the campus. Pray for the university, too. It’s a private school and lots of very bright young adults graduate from there. These students could have lots of potential to affect the country in the future. Pray that it produces a generation of true Christ followers who love others as He did!

Evidence of God at Work

I’ll be honest. There are some days when I’ve reflected on my work here and feel like I haven’t accomplished much. Then there are others when I experience moments—like today—that remind me that God is allowing me to bear fruit in my time spent with students at UASD.

A few posts ago, I wrote about a girl named Rosi who was brought to us after the Spring Breakers met her during an outreach. She was looking for someone to help her grow in her faith. You never know if someone is just saying that at the time or really means it. Unfortunately, there are many times when we meet a student and it seems like they might be a great person to invest your life in, but they never answer your calls. However, Rosi was one of the few that truly meant what she said and for the last two months, I have been meeting with her to discuss some of her questions for God and what it means to be his student (disciple).

Today, we talked about developing our relationship through prayer, studying the Bible, and obedience. We do this using little booklets that are a guide with passages to read from the Bible and questions for thought, which can sound a bit dry, but it’s awesome how it just spurs on further conversation. For example, one of the questions asked “What does God promise that we will experience if we pray in what ever situation?” (based on Philippians 4:6-7). We both shared times when we received this peace through prayer.

Perhaps the coolest part of our meeting today was at the end when we talked about what God is asking us to do through the areas of prayer, Bible study, and obedience. We both spent some time writing down some goals in each area and later shared them with each other. I absolutely cherish this kind of thing, because it not only helps me get to know her better, but gives us both some accountability to what we are seeking to do. It serves as a mile marker to which we can look back on in a year and say, “Remember when we committed to ___? God has been faithful!”

Another evidence of God at work through my meetings with Rosi is his gifting us with the ability to understand each other amidst a language barrier. My Spanish has improved tremendously the nine months I have been here, but she is one of the people I have difficulty understanding. Whenever we meet, I rely on her ability to correct me or her patience as I ask her to clarify what she just said. It also brings us a lot of laughter :)

Keep praying for our relationship and that God would continue to be doing a good work in her life as in the lives of all the students who are growing through discipleship right now.

I’m sure this will be funny later

I want to start off by saying that I am blessed. I am so thankful that God has provided me with a home in the DR that is safe, comfortable, and beautiful.

Yet there comes a time in every home dweller’s life when things don’t go as planned and quite frankly, drive you crazy.

Yesterday’s plans were to wake up early, workout, go to church, and hang out with friends. I thought it was getting better when I received a call from a relative of our landlord saying he wanted to drop by before I left for church to take some measurements so they could put in a water heater! This was music to my ears as I’ve missed taking nice hot showers this year.

Upon taking the measurements, they decided they would just install in right away since one of them would be leaving for the States soon. Eager to get my hot water all hooked up, I told them it was fine for them to stick around a while and get to work.

Fifteen hours later…here’s the short story of what has passed:

• Water heater installed-yay!
• Broken valve in one of the bathrooms-woops
• Chiseling at concrete wall to get to broken pipe-loud, and is that normal?
• 5 men in the bathroom yell “We need a mop” followed by downstairs neighbor coming upstairs to let us know he doesn’t appreciate the water leaking from his ceiling-uh oh
• Water spraying everywhere and flooding bathroom-OMG!!!
• Neighbor: “My ceiling just caved in!”-This is getting out of control!
• Problem still not fixed, but don’t worry, we just shut off the water to the entire building so it shouldn’t flood-I want to curse.

Well, it’s now the next morning and here I am, un-showered with a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, (you don’t even want to ask about what’s in the toilet, lol), and I feel like I ‘m being held hostage in my own apartment.

Of course, in these times I have got to readjust my perspective and be Christlike-I am a missionary after all. But seriously, God is so gracious to me even when I feel like acting out in my frustration that He reminded me this morning that He has given me everything I need in the midst of this situation to keep my cool:

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a life of godliness…these promises enable me to share in his divine nature.                                    -2 Peter 1:3,4

In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships of every kind [even silly household mishaps].          -2 Corinthians 6:4

I know I have every right to be frustrated in this situation. But it doesn’t help me feel any better and it certainly can’t be refreshing to others around me. There’s a reason God gave us verses like these, not only to convict us of our humanly ways, but to teach us a way to live in his peace.

I said this would be funny later, and pictures sometimes help me conjure up that emotion so here’s one to share so you can laugh with me:

Whose idea was it to put the pipes in the middle of a concrete wall?

Something To Say

Today it took all that you had

You’re wondering if you’ll ever get it back

But the whole wide world is waiting for

Waiting for you to step out that door

Come on, let your life be heard today

You’ve got something to say

This song by Matthew West has been my anthem on many days this year. My absolute favorite part of stinting is building relationships with students at UASD and seeing God work through their lives. It’s amazing though, how things like planning, daily frustrations, and emotions can suck energy from me, at times leaving me feeling dry before I am about to step on campus.

Sometimes it’s all I can do to either play this song or think about the lyrics and trust that God will not only meet my needs of energy and compassion, but bring me life through my interactions with students.

On one such day this week, after juggling a few tasks that felt like a million, I got to meet with Daisy*. Daisy and I have been meeting regularly since the spring break team left so that we can talk about some questions she has about her faith in Christ. Each week, we’ve studied different aspects of our faith together. On this day, one of the first things she said was, “What are we learning today?” She said it with such enthusiasm that I couldn’t help but be joyful. Our two hours together flew by as she opened up more to me about her doubts and desires for her relationship with God—and shared chocolate! Later that day, I was knocked off my feet with excitement as I watched two of our Vida Estudiantil members lead Night Vida, something that has NEVER happened before! So cool!

So for everyone back home, or wherever you are, please continue to thank God for how much joy he is allowing me to experience through my interactions with students at UASD and ask him to keep refilling my cup (and while you’re at it, my 3 teammates’ too!)

Something to Say/Matthew West

Doubts

Tonight in Night Vida we invited students to share with us times where they have ever doubted whether a loved one was telling the truth or would fulfill their promises. Many students shared about times that this has happened to them and how it affected that relationship. Pushing the topic further, we then asked, “Is it ok to doubt God?”

What I love about our meetings is that students are allowed to share their opinion without being judged. We got a wide range of answers, but ultimately came to the conclusion that doubts were a normal part of life. We suppose that God expects us to have questions for him, because he gives us verses like Matthew 7:8 which says “For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” He invites us to ask him questions.

My favorite part of the night was giving students the opportunity to anonymously write down any doubt or question they had about God. We explained that these will be the topics we’ll be studying together in the coming weeks. I couldn’t help but identify with some of them. Can’t you?:

Can I still be His daughter even if I keep making the same mistakes?

Why doesn’t God respond to my call or if He does, why don’t I always understand His response?

Why does God allow suffering?

Why does God forgive us?

Can I still go to heaven no matter what I do sometimes?

Why would God bless me with so many great friends?

I am so touched by these questions—not because I fear instability in these students’ spiritual lives—but because they present opportunities for God to become more real to them as he provides them with answers, sustains their faith.

Never underestimate the power of prayer! Please pray over these and the other doubts/questions the students asked tonight. Pray that in the coming weeks, we are able to have meaningful and truthful talks that address these doubts in which God will strengthen their faith. I’m so excited!

English Immersion Program/Birthday in the DR

This past December 5,000 Dominican students graduated from an intense year long English program throughout the country. UASD plays host to one of the locations where the course is taught. These students must come to class Monday through Friday for four hours a day to learn everything they can to become fluent in the English language. While the Spring Breakers were visiting, we tried to take advantage of times when these ambitious learners would be on break from their class in the hopes that they would want to practice their English with them.

Students share their faith in English

I was really touched by an experience that a girl from the University of Oklahoma shared with us about her time with students near the English Immersion building. Over the couple of days that she spent at UASD, she kept running into the same two Dominican students during their break time. The more she talked with them and learned about their lives, the more she grew in compassion for each of them. She recalled to us that she really just wanted them to both hear the message of what Christ did for us from someone—whether or not she got the opportunity to. I really admired her attitude, because it’s important that as we think about sharing Christ with others, it’s not about ourselves at all. It’s not about how well we are able to communicate with our words who God is, or how much we smile, or even how much we pray. It’s remembering God’s heart (not wanting anyone to perish but everyone to come to repentance—2 Peter 3:9) and trusting him with how he’s going to speak to people. Later in the week, she saw one of the students talking to a leader of the spring break team about how to know God personally and the other student was talking to Leyla about how to be involved in Vida Estudiantil! So cool that God allowed her to see that her prayer was answered and that these students were cared for as they heard about the love God has for them!

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On another note, today is my birthday! I was a little bummed as it would be my first in a foreign country and was prepared for it to not be super amazing. But on the contrary, my teammates, friends, and family made it one I won’t forget!

Bri woke me up with my brother on Skype ready to be the first to sing me happy birthday. Then she had a scavenger hunt leading me to gifts galore! Jimmy and Rob coordinated with my family and knew to make me some delicious banana-chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. I treated myself to a massage, relaxed, received a fun package in the mail from my best friend Lin, then went to Vida Estudiantil at night. It was totally cool because it just so happened that there was a concert on campus tonight! We got to hear some great music with lots of my Dominican friends and dance! Then to top off the night, I came home to find more clues leading me to the freezer where I got spooked by a video camera inside awaiting my reaction to finding ice cream cake and Jimmy and Rob jumping out from the darkness.

Another bonus is getting lots of notifications on facebook from all the birthday wishes. Also, I’ve noted something cool about Dominican culture when it comes to birthdays. Not only does everyone wish you a happy birthday, but they also tell you all the very specific things they hope God blesses you with in the next year: blessings, joy, peace, fulfilled desires, (and admittedly, someone even said the man of my dreams!) Thanks to all who made my birthday special—I was definitely not lacking anything despite being far from home!

Night Vida

Every Thursday night at 6 pm, our Stint team shares our faith at UASD and invite students to come to our weekly night meeting. This week, the spring breakers joined us and helped us reel more people in. We played a huge game of Simon Dice (Simon Says) and split off into smaller groups to talk about what it means to be ready to follow God.

One thing to note about Night Vida is that we try to create an environment where both the believer and non-believer can feel comfortable with where they are at and learn about God. At the end of the group discussion, Bri shared with the group what it meant to follow God and asked if anyone was ready that night to receive him. That night, God was tugging at Francisco’s heart who prayed to have Christ in his life that night!

We were also astounded when we had three students ad lib a worship session after the meeting. We had a singer, guitar player, and dancer. It was great to see them using their hearts and talents to praise God and lead us to do the same.

Check back tomorrow for another awesome story!

Cultures Collide

Story #2 from Spring Break beautifully illustrates how awesome it is when people from different languages and cultures come together.

Two students from Oklahoma were talking to a Dominican student about her spiritual background. With the Spanish they knew, they listened to her share about her life and things that were missing from it. They showed her the following image from the Knowing God Personally booklet to try to understand her better:

The girl told them that she felt she was currently living the Self-Directed Life, but wasn’t satisfied living that way and that she wanted to live a Christ-Directed Life, but didn’t know how. Our American friends were thrilled that she had this heart to submit to God, but couldn’t communicate some key words that would help her down this path. Divinely, Pedro, one of our students from Vida Estudiantil walked by where they were having the conversation and they asked him to come help them talk with this girl. Pedro was able to translate for them and share his own words of encouragement to this seeking girl. Towards the end of the conversation, she learned that she was missing Christ in her life and that this would help her get on a path that was guided and protected by him. Because of the collaboration of these students and God’s amazing grace and compassion for this girl, she received Christ through prayer that day and began to follow him!

More stories to come! Keep checking each day this week to find out more about what God did through the lives of these 60 students at UASD!

Biggest Event of the Year

I am so excited to tell you all about the awesome things that happened last week.

We received 60 students representing Campus Crusade from 5 different universities in the States to serve Vida Estudiantil at UASD during their spring break. All this month, we have been praying about how they can best spend their time here: meet as many students as possible trusting that God would help them find those who don’t have a personal relationship with him or need encouragement in their faith. 

I could take up the whole page telling you all the stories, but I figured I’d spread them out a little bit over the next week. This should be even more exciting as our Stint team will be following up with the students they have met, so you’ll get to see the stories as they’ve unfolded a little bit more!

One story in particular that I want to share now is about a girl two students from the University of Oklahoma met on Wednesday. In talking to Rosi, they learned that she was a Christian who was really struggling with her faith as she daily heard her philosophy teacher instructing opposing beliefs, even mocking her for what she believed to be true. She said that she wants her faith to be “rock solid,” but doesn’t know how to get there on her own. Through these students’ courage and persistence to speak to her in the Spanish they knew, Rosi was directed to people in Vida Estudiantil who were willing to meet with her to encourage her in her faith. In addition to this, Rosi admitted that before meeting them, she believed that Americans were all bad people who were thirsty for control over others. While it was difficult to hear that this belief is something she learned from her family, we were all excited about seeing one person at a time gain understanding of our motives and the genuine love we have for Dominicans.

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On another note, I must tell you that these students truly were a blessing to myself and my team more than anything. Not only was it exciting to get to talk to other Americans for a week, but they just did a great job of encouraging us and my spark for ministry here at UASD was re-ignited as I saw their enthusiasm to pour out their hearts into other students. It gave me such strength to finish the rest of my time here well and helped me re-focus on what I was sent here to do. As they asked questions about my life and work here in the DR, I became more confident that my job is really cool!